I’m changing, and that’s normal. Recently, though, I’ve noticed how the things I’ve prayed to develop for years are slowly manifesting. Honestly, I’m not good at disciplining myself, and, ’till now, I struggle with it. This time, however, I am excited about who I am slowly becoming.

What has changed?

Finding Structure

I have a work process whenever I do my work as a content creator and strategist, however, I’ve always found myself the weakest link in the team. Recently, since I moved to the Metro, I found myself receiving compliments from my clients saying I have excellent writing, that I only needed lesser supervision, that I deliver content fast, and I have an organized demeanor. I never thought that in just a short amount of time I’d be able to find more structure in what I do. Of course, it’s not always perfect and I still fail from time to time. Still, I’ve started to love figuring out work structures, systems, and anything that would help me work well.

I’m falling in love with organizational structure, work systems, personality tests, leadership roles, culture, and values at work…. and the list goes on. I thank my friends for helping me find it, especially my friend Cathy for holding me accountable. Perhaps one of these days I can share what I’ve learned about personality tendencies and how it has helped me work on myself.

I am still a work in progress, and most of the time I do fail. Yet I am willing to get back up and start rolling again.

View of Leadership

Leadership is not easy. It’s not bossing people around and making people work. It’s about trusting people, mentoring them, and modeling leadership regardless of their different strengths.

I’ve always known that leadership wasn’t easy. It requires patience, perseverance, and lots of patience (yes, I repeated the word on purpose for emphasis). We are all different, yet we can all be leaders. Having a deeper understanding of this made me more forgiving of myself. This even led me to value my role as a mentor.

Everyone needs someone who understands them — if not at least someone willing to listen to them and meet them halfway. We all need that one person who can encourage us and accept us, the same way some people are willing to provide us with guidance and sound advice when we need it.

Leadership is embracing oneself, finding your structure and what works for you, empowering others to find themselves… trusting that everything is according to God’s grace.

Learning More of God’s Word

I recently discovered I’m someone who would rather have a Bible study once or twice a week rather than do it daily. Ever since I’ve been doing it with a friend since the pandemic, those weekly Bible studies have led me to think deeper, meditate on what I’ve learned, and appreciate the Word.

More than this, the weekly Bible studies have led me to become more cautious of what I hear or read from Christian influencers, pastors, authors, and even my own thoughts. I’ve learned to “test” it — which left me amazed last election season here in the Philippines (but that’s another story to tell).

It’s great to study the Word. It has become more refreshing and enlightening than before.

Better Spending

Just recently, I’m proud to see my work set up. In just a couple of months, I was able to get a good work desk, a laptop platform, a mouse/work pad, a new webcam, and wireless mouse and keyboard, and a rechargeable desk lamp. I’ve also gotten myself a supply of pads, pens, and sticky notes. This is the first time I felt so satisfied with my work set up it makes me inspired to work on ideas.

These things didn’t come overnight. I had to prioritize what I need to get first. I prioritized my work area since I spend most of my day in this corner of my room to work. I also became conscious of how to present myself during video calls that I even shopped for a few simple attires I can wear (at least to make me look decent and presentable) during video calls and talks (I do webinars).

Back in the day, I’d think twice about buying all these. I was satisfied working on the laptop rather than getting “fully geared”. This time, I’ve learned I need to do this if I expect to provide better services to clients. Working comfortably made me focus and even inspired me.

Next stop, pursue a new dream career now that I am a writer and get a new look for my hair.

Becoming a Mentor

I’ve become the mentor I envisioned I’d be. I never thought all those years of speaking engagements, modules, and partnerships with local agencies (both private and public) led me to this moment of coaching our volunteers at Indigitous and even other churches who would like to learn more about social media and digital missions.

I placed this upon myself, to be honest. I volunteered for this role. But what made this special was how I was starting to see the possibilities of having my own coaching program for content creators, copywriters, and content strategists — perhaps start-up businesses who are not connected in any way to any digital marketing company.

Time and time again I’ve been offered this role by public and private entities. Some I’ve accepted and created a series of lectures out of my love for learning, while some I declined due to my problems with the internet connection, gadgets, and even my surroundings back in Sorsogon. This time though, I was coaching. Albeit it is for a Christian group of volunteers who are helping me with content, I realized it’s becoming more.

I am still praying for this. Somehow, my plans to just train this group to take over what I’m doing and potentially mentor others in the ministry have become a seed that planted the possibility of coaching both digital missionaries and start-up businesses. I’m still figuring things out. For now, I only have this group, plus a local church that intentionally joined us. I’m trusting God to make this happen for me.

Adulting 2.0

We recently had a dilemma here at home which I confided with a friend (all of what transpired), it was here that I came to do something which I’ve been doing at work — track even our expenses and shares. I call this adulting 2.0.

I’m used to paying bills but never this way. After confiding it with a friend and determining how I feel and what I must do, I started applying those decisions with the help of a trusty spreadsheet. I kept track of what I gave for groceries, what we spent, and the bills paid. I also downloaded apps and monitored bills from the comfort of my room and learned how to pay online.

I’ve discovered our delinquent payments and resolved them. I also made it a point to call the electric and water company to confirm our payment was already given — and make sure it gets reflected this time. It was challenging but at least I’m not crying anymore.

The bills needed to maintain and the areas in this house I saw that needed improvement, plus my desire to get an HMO and other investments (because I got denied of getting insured due to my disability) gave me the push I needed to level up my working game.

This is adulting. It’s taking responsibility for both our reality and my growing ambition.

Living Purposefully

One of the things I prayed about earlier this year was for God to bring back my hope. I wanted to live life purposefully. I started saying no to some things to prioritize other areas– and till now I still do. I realized I became focused on finding clients, learning better about my work, and enhancing my skills, than doing some other extra activity that would drain me. Not that the other activities I used to do doesn’t matter — it was more on prioritizing what I need to work on now.

If there’s something I’m doing extra, it would be my weekly sessions with the Christian group I’m coaching. That’s it! Nothing more. Other than this, I’m also reading my old unfinished novel and writing it—getting myself back on track.

I’d still paint, although perhaps a few months from now.
I’d still travel, but when I’m more able physically and financially.
I’d like to focus on where God wanted me — living purposefully my now!

Only by His Grace

I want to share more but I think this post is already lengthy. In a short period, I never thought I’d be the woman I am now — and God’s not done with me yet. This is all Him — His Grace is sufficient. I never thought I’d slowly be someone I have prayed to be. I can’t do this alone. It’s all His work and grace.

Dear reader, I pray you will also experience the growth that can only be found in Christ. Continue to pray and surrender to Him. It’s not easy but it’s worth it. Submit to His guidance, pray for the right people to mentor and hold you accountable, and be ready to receive the blessings where He delivers you from your old self to the new you. We are always changing. Change for the better!