To be single is a blessing — I never thought I’d find myself rejoicing in this statement. For the longest time I have seen marriage as the ultimate gift God can give — until recently.

As a Christian, we know that Jesus is the ultimate gift. However, let’s admit that there have been moments we see marriage as more of a gift from God. And while the Bible encourages us not to be alone, we are also reminded of the joy of being single.

My Friend’s Wedding

2024 started with me witnessing my friend’s wedding. Mich was our discipleship group leader whom we always admired her. Not only was she beautiful, she was the definition of someone who served the Lord in all humility. I can go on rambling and on how much I admire and appreciate her especially as a friend, but to witness her getting married to a man God has led to her was altogether something more than magical. It was one of God’s greatest miracles — a victory.

When she got married, I saw how faithful God is. It was a victorious moment for me as I saw how all I stand for, in terms of marriage, was being displayed through Mich. She was one of those ladies who never teased me nor encouraged me to get on with someone I never liked. She was one of those who encouraged and affirmed me with my stand about finding a suitable partner. Now that she’s married, her testimony is one of my favorite love stories of how God can turn things around despite the long wait. More than this, her story was a proof of how embracing our single season is as beautiful as finally having someone to serve God with.

I Am My Own and God’s

Mich wasn’t the only friend who got married recently. Last 2023 another friend did and hers was a different, yet still an encouraging story.

Cathy was already in a long term relationship when we became friends, but she was also the one who encouraged me most to maximize my single blessedness. It was weird it had to come from a friend who was in a relationship — and a good one too. Now, I can see the beauty of it.

Marriage can change one’s priorities. As a Christian woman, I know that when I get married my first ministry will be my husband and kids especially as we pursue together the vision God has for us. I won’t be as flexible as before. I have to consider him and our family before I make decisions. I saw how Cathy was so right about this as I see her now in her new season as a wife and as a mother. Her priorities have changed and she is living it well. I believe this is the product of living your single life well. What made this realization more precious was when I finally had a chance to travel to a different country and now that I’m writing my own book. I get to see and understand myself more.

I can say I appreciated my singleness more than before to the point I’m okay to be single. However, the desire for marriage is still there but with a clearer perspective of what it is.

You are Your Partner’s Helper

Just like Mich and Cathy, I can now see more clearly why marriage is indeed a partnership. Many singles (including me) are drawn to this belief that marriage is a goal to happiness — that all will be well once you’ve met “the one”. However it’s not always like that.

Marriage is a partnership between two imperfect individuals willing to work together in resolving conflicts and growing from them. It is also a closer accountability towards becoming the person God has designed you to be in every season. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you marry someone who can partner with you and be your mirror of truth? Someone who can walk with you through thick and thin and is not afraid to tell you the areas you need to grow on — and grows with you.

Other than this, I also realized there is no such thing as “the one”. There is a choice. In Genesis 2, when God said, “it’s not good for man to be alone” He also said “I will make him a suitable helper”. Yes, a suitable helper. God made several which He presented to Adam, who named each. Still, Adam did not choose any of them. This led to the part we all know — God made Adam sleep, took a rib, and made Eve. When Eve was presented, Adam knew she was of his own and called her woman. Now, this is the part where I would encourage you to read the Bible to reflect on this part. It’s best, after all, that you also study it and not just rely on what I said. After all, I’m only human and still learning a lot (and please read according to context).

Singleness is a Gift too

I see singleness as a gift more than ever. It has shown me I can serve the Lord and also work on myself with Him. I won’t deny how I have recently longed for a spouse but let’s admit, the fact I started journeying with Christ as a single made me more mindful about marriage. Let’s not awaken love until it’s time after all is one of the best advise you can read in the Bible.

I’m in my single season. What better way to spend it than to cultivate my relationship with God and discover more what He can do through me. Discovering even the skills He has blessed me with and even healing traumas caused by sin.

There is nothing wrong in being single. Blessings doesn’t discriminate between singleness and married. There is joy in it as well because Christ is there. I may not be perfect and I have so much to learn but I’d like to invite you — let’s bask in His presence. It may take some self-discipline and self-control but just imagine how God will make you bloom in your single season before He entrusts your heart to your future spouse.